How Vulnerability Brought Out the Best in Me
Relentless consistency is the key to achieving any goal you desire in life. When I have my sights set on something I want, I pursue it with laser like focus until I achieve the desired result. For me this has been my greatest gift and my greatest cross to bear. It has enabled me to build a million-dollar business from my garage, launch a startup that is profitable in less than 3 months, consult for billion-dollar corporations, obtain a black belt, and compete professionally in both MMA and Jiu Jitsu. Discipline is where the consistency part comes in. Showing up every day regardless of how you feel is the recipe for results. Giving it your all while you are there is where the relentless part comes in. Strategizing your efforts to gain optimal results within the time you have committed.
Now let’s talk about the negative side for a moment. This type of focus detaches you from reality. You become a machine and you do not relate to the rest of the world. Let’s face it, we live in a world of followers with very few leaders. When you make the choice to rise above the rest, you do exactly that, rise above. They cannot relate to you, they do not even understand where you are coming from. This has been my toughest challenge. It has resulted in isolation, loneliness, procrastination, and even depression and substance abuse. It has taken me 40 years and endless amounts of books, counseling, coaching, and solitude to decipher how to handle this extraordinary gift that often seems to be a curse. I have learned how to manage myself by aligning myself with my higher power, maintaining a specific life regiment that nourishes my mind, body, and soul, and seeking out like minded individuals that I can relate to and share life with. Being great at anything has its rewards and its challenges.
Managing these challenges is what will allow you to stay on track. For me I am highly emotional. I would call myself an empath. This sensitivity is outstanding for connecting with other humans and discerning things that the average person just doesn’t pick up on. It is also very difficult to keep in check and can become overwhelming quite quickly, causing complete and total systematic breakdown. Management of myself has been the essential component in my success in life and in business. As I said, my connection with my higher power has been crucial and I am beyond grateful for this in my life. It is like having a very dear partner that is full of love and wisdom always there to lean on. Our connection with our higher power is 100% personal and completely unique to each and every one of us. My regiment is very specific as well. It is tailored to fit my needs and my personality. From the way I train, meditate, and diet, to how I study, journal, and grow my businesses and my life. We all must search our hearts and our minds and find these components for ourselves. For me the one universal component that ties it all together is people.
Whenever I am asked for advice in general, whether it is referring to business or life, I always stress the importance and power of relationships. Humans are social beings and we are designed to foster positive, healthy, trusting relationships. This is unfortunately not the case in most people’s lives. We struggle with the ability to be vulnerable and to allow others into our lives. You see life is better together. Not just in the sense of being happy on a cloud hanging out with the people that love you, but in every aspect. People push you, hurt you, grow you, nurture you, love you, frustrate you, excite you, bore you, anger you, endear you, and so on. We need all of these things to be the best version of ourselves. Even the ones we view as negative. Often times those are the ones we need the most. It is my opinion that there should be a balance here, and that your healthy relationships should definitely outweigh the toxic ones, but I truly believe that we attract what we need in our lives.
With all that being said, I have found that actively seeking out people in your life that you can relate to and can also grow you is the best way to become the best version of yourself. It cultivates growth and happiness at an exponential rate. Many of us are fearful because of our upbringing and our past in general. We are terrified of ourselves and sharing who we really are with others. The beauty of it all is that you are not alone. That is the point of relationships. To connect with another human being on a like-minded level about the things you are experiencing in your life.
High-level relationships are the foundation for self-discovery, connection, and true belonging. Cultivating an environment that provides this is of the utmost importance. As the saying goes, you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Let that sink in for just a moment. You are exactly that. Now think about who you want to be and who you should be spending your time with. It is our responsibility to seek out the results we desire for our lives. I always tell my clients, my friends, and my family, “Seek Wisdom”. This is exactly what high-level relationships are all about. Finding others that you can relate to, be vulnerable with, and ultimately learn from to create the greatest version of yourself.
Your core group will decide who you become in life. Whether you are the leader of that group or just a member. It is relevant all around us, from business, to sports, to our day to day leisure. Vulnerability is truly opening up the depths of yourself to your core group that has earned your trust and your loyalty. As your relationships grow so do you. Often that is why you group either expands, retracts, or completely changes. Just remember, life is constantly changing, it is organic and always in flux. Two can always do more than twice as much as one. Find not only the ones you can trust, but also the ones who rip the layers from you, exposing your raw true nature. Only then can you truly start to grow from this inside out!