4 months! I was just thinking of how long it’s been since I last blogged. 4 months!....
For someone who used to blog every other week at the very least, 4 months feels like a lyftime!
With this realization (and a healthy dose of self judgement, actually), I was wondering what had stopped what seemed like a constant flow of vulnerable and authentic thoughts, feelings and perspectives from leaving my mind through the fingertips and off into the unknown abyss of the internet.
After hours of contemplation, the answer finally dawned on me…. Things have been pretty damned great lately and I haven’t had enough pain to process and share to constitute a blog entry.
Looking back, I realize that many, if not most, of my blog entries were based on the many experiences of growing significantly through the lessons taught during meaningful relationships. And what is even more interesting is how after most of my growth from relationships has been realized, I haven’t even thought about the act of blogging itself. And I love blogging!
Hmmm… now we know where all the brilliant art throughout the world comes from – pain. Pain experienced in the artists’ lyf, much of which comes from relationships with others. Heck, they even created an entire music genre around pain – and they call it ‘The Blues’.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve still had my share of unpleasant thoughts, feelings and actions sprinkled throughout over the last 4 months, however, none of them must have been painful enough to motivate me to write about. In fact, when I look back through my daily journals over the last 4 months, there is a tiny fraction of the epiphanies, wisdoms and experiences I have experienced compared to not so long ago when it seemed like I could fill 3 pages a day regurgitating my painful experiences from the day before – each and every morning.
So, what does all this mean and why should you keep reading?
Put simply, pain can be good. It is good for a few reasons, like it reminds us that we are alive, and it tells us what to fix, heal, improve or accept. Most importantly, however, pain motivates us. Pain and pleasure are the two dominant motivators available to the human being and for most of us, pain is a bigger motivator than pleasure. Let’s put this to the test:
-Say you didn’t want to move, because the couch and associated bag of Doritos and Netflix binge-a-thon you are potatoing in are way too comfortable to step away from anytime soon. Now what if a friend called and said he would give you a new bag of your favorite snack if you got off the couch and turned off the tv for 5 minutes….would you do it? Maybe, but probably not. But what if a spider dropped down from above and landed in your lap, then crawled down under your legs – and you saw the whole thing. Would you move off the couch now? I’m betting a bag of Doritos on it ….of course you would!
So now that we’ve been reminded that we’d do more to avoid a spider than we would to get some chips, what do we do with that?
This reminds us to update our perspective on pain, suffering, unease, anxiety, etc. from one of ‘bad’ to one of ‘good’. Without being sufficiently uncomfortable, many, if not most, of us simply wouldn’t move forward – as fast or as effectively as compared to when where are uncomfortable.
Lyf is full of painful opportunities to grow personally and professionally. And when we grow in these ways, lyf on the other side of the growth continues to get better and better. Free-er and more joyful. Simpler and more beautiful. The reasons and results of growth are endless and as many of us can attest, when we experience enough of it – we get hooked and all of a sudden have a ‘Growth Habit’….
Embrace pain. Embrace suffering. Embrace being uncomfortable. Embrace not being, doing or having what you want….. Embrace being motivated by what hurts. And as you focus your lyf on personal and professional growth after a period of time, you will notice that there simply isn’t much to write about anymore, because the pain is no longer there. By that point, you will have noticed that your motivational direction has changed to being more altruistic and enjoyable in nature and lyf for yourself and all others around you becomes more beautiful.
We’ll cover that in another blog soon.
Pain hurts. And pain motivates. Embrace the pain as it motivates you from where you are at to where you want to be. No pain, no gain, they say - and in most cases, they are right.
Keep Goin’! And use pain in a way that it can help instead of hurt.